School has been epically shit os I didn't really want to bother writing about it. On Friday it was only me Hannah and Leigha. Danielle's talking to me but we're not walking to drama together. I hope she realises what a bitch she's been and feels really fucking guilty (yeah right!). I had to work with her and Naomi in Maths they were talking about pills they'd taken. I wanted to ask her about them and then ask her if I could have one but I didn't have the guts. After 4th lesson I keep thinking its the end of school and I go outside and then have to go back in again feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

It's only 4 weeks till my exams start. Thats nothing really.

I am so bored, the atmospher in our house isn't particularly great, maybe I should bake some biscuits of something but then I'd have to do the washing up. Which of course I'm doing, even though Rachel said earlier she would do it. I text Lucy but I don't know if she'll be able to do anything and it won't be till she's finished work anyway.

I want to... I was gonna write be going wild but the truth and problem is that I don't really know what I want to do. I used to be so sure I wanted to sing and now I'm sure of nothing.

Rachel talked to me about the stuff about Kat. People keep on talking to me in that 'personal talk' talk way. I don't know whether its cause I'm around Rach and Kat a lot, or cause everyones thinking about that kind of shit at the moment, or cause I'm miserable and that attracts people trying to tell you how to deal which usually ends up about them. I don't think Rach understands depression. It annoys me that she thinks I have it so easy, as if that stuff didn't even happen to me at all. At least she got to be innocent, I never got that. I guess there are curses to being innocent though, like realising the horror of life and the people in it.